The Antidote to suffering by Louise Taylor January 2024

​A question I get asked a lot is: why did I start meditating?

And the short answer is, because I was in pain. When I first came to practice in my late 20’s the pain, emotional and psychological was intense, through practice this pain has greatly reduced and there is greater wisdom over how and why this pain arises. To be honest, it’s no exaggeration to say that meditation practice and the dharma has literally saved my life.

The buddha taught that there are 3 characteristics of all things that come into existence. In the Pali language they are Dukkha, Annica and Anatta, translating as suffering, impermanence and no-inherent-self. These three characteristics are intimately interwoven creating the fabric of all that exists, but it is dukkha, our suffering, that we viscerally feel. It is, without wisdom, our unseen driver, propelling us on, unknowingly creating more and more suffering. This suffering was what buddha sought to be liberated from and what is at the centre of all his teachings. It is what the four noble truths are about. In the suttas he states, “I teach one thing, dukkha and its cessation”.

Dukkha encompasses many things and has no simple pali-english translation, although most often it is translated as suffering. For me in my late 20’s this suffering was obvious, I was experiencing a high amount of emotional and psychological pain which had arisen out of causes and conditions from childhood. Those experiences, those initial conditions and causes set in motion habitual patterns as my being sought to survive and to solve the problem of the pain. As I grew into adulthood these patterns continued to strengthen and I was continually seeking relief from the inner pain. Not everyone is living with such conditions (thankfully) so dukkha may be more subtle, but it is there. It may be in the form of stress, anxiety, agitation, fears, tension, avoidance, addiction, sadness and sorrow, regret, grief, anger, resentment, contempt, our relationship and resist4ence to physical ailments/illness, fatigue, rumination, old age, resistance, desire, attraction, craving, overindulgence, depression, restrictive behaviour, tiredness, excitement, fogginess, intoxication…. You get the idea.

In fact, even when we become very quiet in the heart/mind and our body is relaxed and our attention is resting in present moment experience we find that just to be alive has a subtle tone of stress/unpleasantness. Each inhale is initiated in response to rising CO2 levels and falls in O2, and a small delay in allowing the inhale will create a greater sense of urgency and unpleasant sensation in the body. There are aches and pains moving around the physical form and even when a comfy position is accomplished, it is only a matter of minutes before the body wants to move again. Then there’s feelings of needs to eliminate and feelings of hunger and thirst to name but a few experiences of dukkha in the moment to moment experience of the body at rest.

But dukkha isn’t just the experience of pain or unease or satisfactoriness it is the identification we ascribe to the initial phenomena and the relationship we then have with it. Here we see the 2 arrows, the initial pain/discomfort/unease is one and the ensuing entanglement with identification, conceptual thinking and relationship in action, the second.

As an example, let’s say the emotion sadness arises, but not because of an immediate obvious incident, it just arises in the heart. Often, the most common reason that an emotion arises is just from habit, emotions habitually arise and this in turn, conditions them to further habitually arise.

However, without awareness, the habitual nature often goes unnoticed and the mind begins to generate a narrative that mirrors the emotion. It may well be a narrative that is familiar, and we engage and identify with the story/memory/narrative and believe that this narrative is, in fact, the reason there is sadness. We may already have strong identification with the emotion, mulling over what happened to ME, who did what to ME, what I wish I’d done instead, questioning such as ‘why am I having these thoughts again I thought I was over this’, ‘why can’t I let go of this’, etc” and in doing so we identify with the sadness, the sadness is mine, I am sad. All this is reinforcing the sadness, prolonging it and feeding it.

The mind, when faced with the entanglement of the identification with the sadness (I am sad) and the engagement/fusing with the narrative that is playing (the perceived cause of the sadness) goes about trying to solve that problem and invariably, after a certain amount of rumination, comes up with a solution. This is what the critical thinking mind does, it solves problems, except these kinds of problems are not its forte because they are based on false premises, i.e., identification with and the idea that there is a problem and that that problem is about what you’re thinking and that the said problem needs fixing. So, whatever the mind comes up with as a solution, it inadvertently keeps the sadness in place, because not only are we identified now as being sad, we now believe we are sad because of the narrative and we can’t relieve the sadness until the prescribed solution is administered. Through this process we will have also added other feelings and emotions to the situation as part of our relationship to the narrative, some anger perhaps, or resentment, some judgement, maybe some disappointment or self-pity and then there is now this solidifying of self and situation and a striving for the solution.

And this is a great irony of the human condition. Without thorough investigation and insight into our inner landscape we live in a world of proliferating perception that is essentially mistaken and, not only creates more of the very suffering it aims to reduce, it is the suffering it aims to reduce.
We become addicted to the minds preoccupation with trying to solidify the way things are (including our perceptions of ourselves and each other) and lost in the push and pull of attraction and aversion to our own perception of experience. This is what the Buddha describes as the root cause of our dukkha, having mistakenly created a perception of the way things are (delusion) we develop craving/clinging for things to be different which creates action to grasp that which we are subsequently attracted to (greed/infatuation) and push away what we have aversion to (hatred/hostility).

But there is good news because by firstly acknowledging that we experience dukkha in our lives and reflecting that current and past strategies to alleviate that suffering haven’t really worked we can start to wake up to how our clinging is the cause of our suffering and in doing so we begin to see that a way out is possible.

This then is the template for the four noble truths laid down by the Buddha from the very beginning of his insight and liberation.

1 there is suffering
2 there is a root cause of suffering (craving/clinging).
3 there is cessation to our suffering.
4 there is a path towards the end of suffering (the eightfold noble path)

Over and over in the suttas the Buddha instructs us to ‘know’ suffering, to embrace it and become intimate with it, to fully understand it. Once we do, we see that it is our internal clinging for things to be different that is the root cause of our suffering and no amount of outward manipulation will bring relief. The dharma teaches us that to cling is to suffer and the consequences of our clinging through thought, speech and action creates more suffering. Once we see that our clinging creates suffering we can begin to let go and notice what happens. The noticing is important because we are learning a new way of relating to the worldly winds that whip around us and through this process of letting go with awareness, we will at some point notice a sweet moment of cessation. Throughout our lives we experience many moments of cessation but without mindfulness we don’t notice. We don’t notice because the mind is subsequently quiet, there’s no suffering and therefore there’s no narrative playing, and the mind isn’t seeking a solution. This pleasant state often goes unnoticed and the quality of it and the insight into it is lost on us. Only when something arises in the heart mind that stimulates the mind back into craving do we notice that and often we can then be tricked into thinking that this is the constant situation. So, the third noble truth asks us to fully experience cessation, to be aware in the present moment with mindfulness to enjoy, notice and be present to this subtle sublime quality of cessation of craving. This is a wonderful turning point, one where we consciously choose to stop craving because we see into the truth of suffering. From this incredible vantage point a lifelong path opens, a new way of life to continue the letting go of and stopping craving. Deep inner work that transforms our experience of life. This is the noble eight-fold path, the wheel of dharma that through practice keeps turning in our lives.
 
Vipassana directly translates into insight or ‘special seeing’. The first noble truth asks us to ‘know’ dukkha and subsequently see into its root and experience its cessation. But how do we do this? Because this is the kind of knowledge that can’t be gleaned from reading a book or listening to a talk. These modes of communication can gain our attention, they can intrigue and alert us, they can, perhaps most importantly inspire us but the insight the Buddha is asking us to cultivate happens in a different way, it happens through mediation.

Meditation allows us to look, with fresh eyes, on what is really going on. At first, as we cultivate this beautiful quality of mindfulness, this open, receptive, curious lens of present moment awareness, we can be quite taken aback at the messy content and sensations in the heart/mind and body. But with perseverance we begin to experience the transformative potential of practising mindfulness meditation. Through this cultivation of mindfulness and concentration we remove tainted lens after tainted lens until we achieve, what Rob Burbea, in his wonderful book of the same name calls ‘the seeing that frees’.

Practicing vipassana mediation is the key to developing insight, the key to freedom from suffering. It is through meditation that the Buddha attained his freedom and it is the practice of meditation that the Buddha repeatedly instructs us to do.

He urges us to not take his word for it, to not follow blindly what others say, regardless of their position in society, confidence, followers or attainments in tradition. But instead he urges us to ‘know it for ourselves’.

This is what mediation does, it gives clear insight into our internal process, into the truth of how and why things arise as they do. It gives freedom from fixed beliefs about self, others and the world around us. It illuminates a path on which to travel, a path that with each step reduces dukkha.
That’s the real jewel of this practice and the gift that the early Buddhist instructions give us. To be a light unto ourselves, to find the path through this practice of insight, a whole body, heart and mind experiential process of present moment awareness.

As the great Buddhist monk Ajahn Char notes:
​
“The mind of one who practises doesn't run away anywhere, it stays right there. Good, evil, happiness and unhappiness, right and wrong arise, and he knows them all. The meditator simply knows them, they don't enter his mind. That is, he has no clinging. He is simply the experiencer.”
 
 
 

WISE INVESTIGATION by Louise Taylor 11/8/22

Wise investigation is the second, of seven awakening factors outlined by the Buddha.  The first is mindfulness and the other 5 are energy, joy, tranquility, concentration and equanimity. Although they are not strictly linear each one has a profound effect on the next. For instance, without mindfulness we cannot chose to investigate what we become aware through mindfulness. 


This piece on wise investigation was inspired by a conversation that I had with a friend recently who wanted to talk through a dilemma she was having.


And this dilemma was a really juicy dilemma and I could feel myself getting caught in the seductive stories and the options and the thought processes going on behind the decision-making until this tiny little voice of Insight ,that I often drop into my own meditation, asked ‘what is happening now?’ I immediately lost interest in the stories and became curious about the mind-state fuelling them.


Without mindfulness we are caught up in the unpleasant mind-state/emotion and engaged in the never-ending papanca (mental proliferation) of trying to ‘think’ our way out of them and into other, more pleasant ones. All the while, not realising that this is creating more dukkha (pain). With mindfulness we are able to witness that the mind-state is present, noting its qualities and presence in the body from the expansive, non-judgemental, open and receptive space that mindfulness affords. 


This is where we take a huge step into the unknown because instead of being lost in these stories that reflect the mind-states present we start to look at what is happening now, what mind-state is present, and from here we can begin wise investigation. Becoming intimate with the mind-state, its impermanent, impersonal nature. Seeing what conditions it and what it conditions. Dharma inquiry, wise investigation begins to reveal to us the human condition.


My friend was experiencing the feeling of dilemma. Dilemma was present and the experience was unpleasant. Its very nature is to have internal parts in conflict. My friend was unable to move forward into present moment process and ease and was caught in great mental proliferation. However, with a little investigation we found out that doubt was also present together with the inner critic and fear. The experience of this was exhausting and immobilising. With a little more investigating we found out that this was a familiar place to be for her, although the stories and characters were different. 


We all have patterns and mind-states that are habitual and left unseen may create suffering for ourselves and for those around us, so although the story might seem fresh and therefore seductive the mind-state is habitual and conditioned.


We didn’t solve the dilemma over that cup of coffee, but my friend walked away with better insight into what was arising and inspired to explore with gentleness a wise relationship to these states as they arose.


This is what we can utilise in meditation, when we recognise we are caught up in compelling thought, when there is emotional distraction from our meditation object, we can use the mind-state as a secondary meditation object and investigate.


So I'd like to offer four guidelines for wise investigation.


The first guideline is that mindfulness, as previously mentioned, must be present. As you start to put investigation into practice in your meditation and in every day life, be vigilant for noticing any judgement, any sign of the inner critic coming in and judging you negatively for what you are discovering through mindfulness. As an awakening factor investigation creates energy and awe as we see into the human condition. Sometimes when we're seeing the suffering of the human condition we will be filled with a sense of compassion, but it does not create negative judgement. If it is present, lean back into true mindfulness and be aware that the inner critic, judgement, is present. This too can be investigated.


The second guideline is to keep your awareness on the body so although you may be investigating the phenomena of a mind-state or emotion, look for the manifestation of it in the body. In this way you will be guaranteed to stay in the moment and be appreciative of how particular mind-states feel in the body so you have greater wisdom to recognise them when they arise. Ask the questions; where is it in my body? What is its texture? What is the physical sensation? If it where to be a colour, what colour is it? Does it move? Etc.


Guideline number three  is to see the impermanence within different mind-state and emotions. Notice that the mind-state has arisen due to causes and conditions, be aware as you drop the story of how the mind-state feels within the body, how it changes and be aware of how it ends.  No matter what you are experiencing, be at dilemma, grief loneliness, anger this mind-state and emotion will fall away without you needing to do anything at all. To be present to that falling away and experience it happening is incredibly liberating and a wonderful insight to behold.


The fourth guideline, is to investigate the impersonal nature of all mind-states. This is where careful use of language is important. There’s a big difference between saying ‘I am angry’ and ‘anger is present’. Everyone of us experiences the whole spectrum of emotions at one time or another. Each mind-state/emotion is conditioned, our stories may be different but the emotions are universal. As you begin to investigate use statements that encourage this incremental shift away from the idea of a solid unchanging self, noticing any changes in perception and experience.


Wise investigation cultivates insights that are uplifting no matter what is being investigated. In the Satipatthana Sutta, these are the Bhuddha’s words:


“Abiding thus mindful, one investigates and examines the state with wisdom, and embarks upon full inquiry into it.
In one who investigates and examines that state with wisdom and embarks upon a full inquiry into it, tireless energy is aroused. On whatever occasion tireless energy is aroused…. On that occasion the energy awakening factor is aroused …; and one develops it, and by development it comes to fulfilment.”

Present moment awareness


This piece aims to explore the practice of present moment awareness, and why it is key.


In the sutta The Destination, translated by Glen Wallis in the book The Basic Teachings Of the Buddha (Modern Library, New York, 2007)  the Buddha states that the path leading to the destination is present moment awareness directed at the body, and urges the monks not to hesitate and to go meditate.


Present moment awareness directed at the body. 


Why do we need to practice present moment awareness? Why can’t we just read the books, the suttas and learn that way? In fact why can’t we just read about the truth, believe it, apply it and voila!!? Happiness


Basically, the many reasons (even though we keep trying and trying) add up to one thing - It doesn’t work, does it? It works for some things - how to ride a bicycle, how to make scrambled eggs etc. practical things, doing things.


But how do I become and stay happy? How do I live with ease?…. maybe not so good. 


Why is this so? 


The answer to this question lies in the practice itself - meditation. No conceptual response to be ‘believed’ will satisfy. Only the experience of present moment awareness and the insight, wisdom, joy and tranquility that arises through the practice will suffice, and enable you to taste the dharma for yourself. As the Buddha instructed - Know it for yourself.


“And just as the great ocean has one taste, the taste of salt, so too the dharma has only one taste, the taste of freedom.” - the Buddha




The enigmatic Zen monk and teacher Shunryu Susuki Roshi, in his Book Zen Mind, Beginners Mind (Shambhala Publications, Boulder, Colorado 1970) states: The purpose of the study of Buddhism is to not study Buddhism at all, but to study oneself. 


And as the Insight meditation teacher and author, Joseph Goldstein states In Mindfulness - A Practical Guide to Awakening (Sounds True, Boulder Colorado, 2013): Through present moment awareness we are not learning any doctrines, we are not conceptualising any teachings - but rather directing our attention onto the mind body process so that we can begin to experience how things are happening in us. So we can experience the nature of our mind body and how they are working.


And it is through this practice that wisdom and freedom arises.


Let me try to illustrate the difference between using the mind to understand reality and using present moment awareness to experience it.


Picture a house, a lovely earthen house with simple furnishings. And the house and everything in the house, for the purposes of this illustration, represents the universe, reality, the way things are. Are you with me so far?


Ok, so in the house there is a little clay bowl with some water in it, and the clay is like our body and the water is like our mind. The little bowl wants to understand and see the house. So it uses the water to reflect the house. But of course, the water can only reflect a small part of the internal room that it is in and depending on the conditions of the water and in the room the reflection will be limited, distorted, and sometimes not even there at all.


And other little bowls in other parts of the house and even in the same room will see a completely different aspect of the house and could be forgiven for arguing, sometimes quite vehemently, that their perspective is the right perspective.


But if we pan out to see the whole house with the contents, we can see that the little bowl is in fact an integral, albeit small, part of the house and remembering that the house is the universe, if the little bowl wasn’t there it would be a completely different universe, one we couldn’t possibly imagine. So, the bowl is an integral part of the universe, reality. And we can see that its strategy to understand the house through reflecting it in the water, is flawed and quite honestly, hopeless, and not what the water was there for in the first place. So what to do?


All the bowl needs to to do to understand the house is to understand itself. To become aware of what it is to be a bowl, the experience of being a moulded piece of clay, holding water, in this moment, and the next and the next. It just needs to ‘know’ its own nature and it will know reality. For it is as much a part of reality as anything else in the house.


So in meditation we are practicing the art of present moment awareness, we are dropping into the experience of this body/mind phenomena which is made up of the same elements that everything else is and is just as much a part of everything as anything else. And therefore will reveal the true nature of things to anyone that can experience it.


And present moment awareness has 2 qualities that keep it in balance. 


One is concentration, and here, concentration means a one pointedness of mind, so all of the mind is gathered together. And at first, when we start meditating, we notice how fragmented the mind is. It can’t rest on the breath for 1 second before moving to something else completely different. And when you do start to notice the breath for more than a second the mind often starts to question you … why are you doing this? You can’t do this can you? Etc. I’m sure some will find that familiar. 


So imagine a moment or few moments where all of the mind is gathered together in harmony and gently, but deeply focused on an object, such as the breath?


Concentration states where the mind becomes absorbed in the object of attention without any fragmentation are very very pleasant. And have wonderful benefits that ripple out into all aspects of day to day life. Concentration is part of the work we do in meditation as we systematically train attention.


But there’s more to it than that.


The other quality is mindfulness, this open, receptive, non judgemental quality that is able to see and be curious about what is happening now, and now, and now….


And these 2 qualities support each other and build each other and combine to give rise to wisdom, joy, tranquility, investigation, energy and equanimity. 


The practice, is deceptively simple, sit and watch what is happening, sit and watch, sit and watch.
Become adept at concentration and cultivate mindfulness, both of which depend on and become present moment awareness.


As the insight teacher and Pali scholar Patrick Kearney reminds us (and I paraphrase): Don’t try to make anything happen, don’t resist anything from happening and stay aware.

What is the Buddha Dharma? by Louise Taylor

To answer that question lets go back 2600 years ago to when the the Buddha attained enlightenment, that is, he saw into the true nature of reality, and in doing so realized why we suffer and how to relieve it.

On doing so he sought out the 5 ascetics mendicants (homeless practitioners) he had previously been practicing with for many years to share his new found wisdom.

Now he had become recently estranged from his fellow meditators because the practices they were trying to reach enlightenment with were very extreme. Basically, trying to achieve mastery over the mind by denying the body’s needs. They denied the body food and water, meditated for long long hours without moving, denied the body sleep, they would not warm themselves when they felt cold or cool themselves when they were hot etc. Through this practice Gautama (as the Buddha was called before he became the Buddha) had  became skeletally thin, so much so that when recalling these times he said he could press a finger into his belly and feel his spine. He was nearing death and he still had not transcended suffering when a village girl, full of compassion, offered him some milk and he accepted and nourished his body.

On seeing this, the 5 other practitioners were horrified and surmised that Gautama had gone soft and was not up to the strict practice so they left him to his own devices. Gautama, who had come from a princely upbringing had now experienced these two extremes and was able to see that neither indulging or denying the body’s and mind’s needs led to awakening - this is the root of the buddhas seminal teaching of the middle path. Starving leads to suffering, indulgence leads to suffering. But nourishment is essential.

Newly nourished and washed he sat down under the Bodhi tree in Bohd Gaya, Northern India and reflected on his life experience, determined to see the reality of the way things are. He sat all night and into the early morning and as dawn came he at last realised the truth. On doing so, he touched the earth and asked her to bear witness to his liberation.

At first, he didn’t want to teach, believing it to be ‘bothersome’ and he could not imagine being understood, such was the chasm between his awakening and the dream in which most people live their lives. But then he heard a voice of great compassion and wisdom which beseeched him to teach and told him that there are those with only a little dust in their eyes…. teach them, it asked.

So he went to find the 5 meditators, and when they saw him approach, they agreed not to greet him, since he clearly couldn’t handle their practices. But as he got nearer they we awed by his radiant presence and could not help themselves in responding warmly and respectfully.

The Buddha then gave his first discourse on what he now knew to be true. This discourse is called Turning the Wheel of Dharma - Dharma in this context means the truth of things. Seeing into the true nature of things, seeing things as they really are. The true nature of reality.

The discourse is called Turning the Wheel of Dharma as it signifies a revolutionary turning of understanding and practice with far reaching consequences as realised by the Buddha.

The discourse speaks about the characteristics of existence, that suffering arises, that all phenomena is impermanent in nature and therefore leading to one of the most radical teachings both then and now… that what we perceive as “self’…. the body, emotions, thoughts and concepts is, in fact, not ‘self’ and that there is no intrinsic, lasting “self” in any arisen, impermanent phenomena both living or inanimate.

It goes on to lay down the teaching of The Four Noble Truths and invites the practitioner to practice and achieve the corresponding Four Noble Tasks…. That will lead to the cessation of our dissatisfaction or suffering.

On hearing the discourse, one of the five instantly became enlightened and the other four soon followed and they formed the beginnings of the Buddha’s sangha - a community of practitioners.

The Buddha then went on to teach for another 45 years through out northern India.

He didn’t teach Buddhism, Buddhism only came later, after his death. The Buddha taught the dharma - the truth of reality as he had realised it. He is quoted again and again as saying he teaches about suffering and the way out of suffering - that was his gig. That there is mind made suffering, there is a cause of mind made suffering, and there is a way out of mind made suffering.

And just as he had realised the dharma through meditation which gave rise to concentration, insight and compassion, so can we realise the dharma through meditation and be liberated from enduring and causing further needless suffering to ourselves and others. He was emphatic that this path is a path of practice.

His teachings were not to be simply ‘believed’ and ‘subscribed’ to, like many other doctrines but to be practiced in meditation and concentration and thus to be ‘known’. Because the truth of reality cannot be understood or comprehended by the intellectual mind, but it can be experienced though the practice of present moment awareness.

After his death, the first council of the dharma sangha came together to write down his teachings, as, up unto this point, they had been delivered in verbal discourses. These written discourses then became known as the Buddha Dharma, in this context meaning: the truth of reality and the body of the buddhas teachings.

So this is what can be understood as the Buddha dharma. The truth of reality and the body of the teachings pointing to the way of realization.

The dharma gives us a framework to guide our practice, the Buddha devoted his life to awakening and trying to explain the unexplainable and so provided a large body of teachings that has grown into many different traditions espousing many different practices all with the same destination.

Within these teachings we can find illumination, inspiration, instruction, reassurance, guidance, wisdom, and a wellspring for faith, a new directions to try if we feel stuck and validation that we are progressing when we suddenly understand a previously mysterious teaching through our own lived experience and practice.

​And it helps us to understand that the path of practice is not always smooth sailing. As we find a way in and begin to investigate the nature of mind, the nature of experience ….we will encounter things we don’t like. This is part of the path. The only way out is through.

The greatest gift that the buddha gave us is the gift of these priceless teachings.

When mindfulness meditation is within the context of the dharma, its true purpose and potential can be realised and it becomes both a wonderful friend and a beautiful path for us to tread for the rest of our lives.